OOTW – and Becoming a Girls’ Girl

Dress: H&M
Scarf: Thrift Store
Shoes: Target
Clutch: Old – Similar here
Silhouette Necklace: Etsy
This necklace is a silhouette of Kingston as a baby, and every time I wear it people say they want one. But the girl Anderson ordered it from was kind of a flake and doesn’t sell them anymore. So somebody needs to start making them and send me one! I’ll pass along a ton of business! It looks really easy to make.

I had dinner with some great friends over the weekend, and before we even made it to the restaurant the subject of social media, blogs, and Facebook came up. Turns out we’ve all been thinking about/ struggling with the idea of what we should and shouldn’t be sharing online. That’s actually why I haven’t blogged much over the last couple of weeks. I just haven’t been able to get my head in the right place. There seem to be two extremes when it comes to blogs and social media. There’s the over-edited “my life is perfect” style. That’s the one where people only post about their children’s great accomplishments, their trips to the farmer’s market (because DUH-they only eat organic), and the flowers their husbands bring them all the time for absolutely no reason. Their lives are perfect! And they have “humble bragging” down to a science. Then there’s the other extreme. The complainers. They rant about everything from their lazy spouse, to the Pinterest recipe disasters they try to make (it’s always the recipe’s fault), to the horrible traffic that seems to follow them everywhere. Nothing ever goes right for them. My girlfriends and I were talking about what it looks like to be “real” online. And we decided that it’s actually harder than it sounds! There has to be a middle ground. But what is it? And how do we find it?

I have to admit that a few years ago I wanted everyone who read my blog and Facebook posts to think my life was perfect. It was probably an immaturity thing mixed with a lot of insecurities. But I just thought it was important to have an image that said, “Oh hey! I’ve got it all together.” Then I had a kid, and it got even worse. I felt sucked into this weird sub-culture of competitive moms. It was completely foreign to me. Competing about how much their kids ate and how long they slept at night? What the heck was this cult of crazy people? I didn’t like it, but I got sucked in anyway. I had to keep up with the crazies and make sure all the other moms knew that I had this thing all figured out. Sure, being a mom was a little tough some days, but I could handle it. And I could do it in a cute outfit and sky-high heels. So take that, Mrs. Yoga Pants! And I could still have a life and keep my house clean and buy fab home decor. Because, you know, the true measure of a great mom is whether my kid has the latest echo-friendly, vintage colored toys and designer clothes. Talk about exhausting! Plus I felt bad, because I knew what I was doing. I knew I was making other moms feel bad, because they couldn’t do it all. And they should be able to do it all, because here was a blog with a real-life mom who totally could! I was perpetuating a lie that is so rampant in the blogging community, especially among moms. And I knew it was wrong.

Then I started feeling convicted about it. Ugh! That always happens! And I wanted to do something but didn’t know what. Should I say something, or just try to change the tone of my posts? I couldn’t decide, so I just didn’t post much. Then I ended up with my girlfriends at dinner, and they were ALL. FEELING. THE. SAME. WAY. We talked about wanting to be real and craving authenticity from others as well. I know that God put me at that table with those girls that night for a reason. It wasn’t just to eat really good food and laugh our butts off. It was so he could speak to me through them. So he could tell me, “Enough already.” Let’s stop the madness, girls! It’s time to be a girls’ girl… a moms’ mom. Someone who chooses to live a life of authenticity and encouragement instead of portraying a highly edited, polished life that doesn’t come close to reality. These are issues our grandmas didn’t have to deal with, and this whole post might sound ridiculous to some, but if you spend time on Facebook or read a lot of blogs, or if you HAVE a blog, I know you get it. Here’s what I’ve started to realize. Social media has connected me to more people than I could ever see face-to-face, and I want to use that opportunity to glorify God. I don’t want to squander it anymore with keeping up an unreal facade. My blog started out as a business platform. It helped grow Pink Coffee Photo tremendously, but at some point it also became a way for me to show you how great my life is, and that is so screwed up. I’m not sure how to move forward from here. Maybe the subjects I talk about will be different, or maybe they will just have a more honest tone. But it feels good to write about it!

So in the spirit of being honest here’s a list of some things I don’t really want you to know about my life:

– My Mom cleans my house. MY MOM. And if she didn’t we’d all die of asthma from the dust.

– Kingston’s diet consists mostly of french fries, PB&J toast (with the crust cut off), cheese crackers, and a ton of milk. I give him Pediasure and vitamins, and he only eats/drinks them because he thinks they’re chocolate milk and candy. I’ve tried every method that’s been suggested to us. Some days it totally stresses me out, but most if the time I just don’t worry about it.

– Yes, I get dressed up just about everyday, but that’s because I enjoy it and it’s something that comes easy for me. What I don’t do or enjoy is organization of any kind. This means my house stays a wreck. I try to keep things picked up, but it’s so hard for me. Basically your yoga pants and sweatshirt = my piles of crap everywhere. Sometimes I’m almost certain there’s a whole other family living among the crap in my garage, but we will never know.

– Anderson and I get into a semi-argument almost every time I ride with him in his car. He’s one of the craziest drivers I’ve ever ridden with, and his little tin can car makes it even scarier. I’m always certain I’m going to die and can’t seem to keep that sentiment to myself.

– I work VERY part-time at my church doing graphic design, because I want to. But I sometimes wonder if I will look back on this time and see it as a selfish decision. Maybe I should be spending that time with my kid.

– When I work out I wear some of the rattiest clothes you’ve ever seen. If you pass me on the rode while I’m running just don’t even wave. You’ll save us both the embarrassment.

– Kingston WILL be potty trained before kindergarten. And I will consider that a great success.

See? Don’t you feel better than you usually do after reading my posts? 🙂
Has anyone else been struggling with this whole authenticity online thing? I’d love to know what you think!
And I’m daring you to post your own list on your blog or Facebook. Let’s stop the madness already!