An Update

Many of you know that I’ve been dealing with some health issues since early this year. I’ve chosen not to talk about it much here for several reasons. The biggest one is because I just don’t want to focus on it. And although there are days/weeks when it pretty much consumes my thoughts and schedule (lots of dr. visits), I don’t feel like my life revolves around it. So I don’t want to give you that impression. Also, last time I talked about it I definitely over-shared. And I got a lot of frustrating, discouraging and just plain weird messages from people who knew what was wrong with me. Lots of “I bet you have ____ or “I had an aunt with similar symptoms, so you should get checked for _____ or “I had a dream that you had ______.” And while I know these were meant to be helpful, they just weren’t. At all. And I don’t want to go through the emotional roller coaster of thinking I have the weird illness someone’s dog once had again. šŸ™‚ So I’m keeping the details more private for now. The other reason I haven’t said much lately is because we just don’t know anything for sure.

But I mentioned on Facebook last week that I was having another test and so many of you offered words of support, so I hate to leave you completely in the dark. Your support means so much to me and Anderson. We totally believe in prayer, so I want you to know enough to be able to pray specifically.

Yesterday afternoon I got the results from my most recent brain scan, and they weren’t good. But they also weren’t definitive. Basically I need more tests. We also feel very strongly that we need a second opinion. So we’re currently trying to pull some strings at one of the best hospitals in the country (that happens to be a few miles from our house) to get me in with their Neurology team ASAP. Please pray for favor with that, because the current waiting list is 6 months. I believe that God has allowed some frustrating events to happen with my current doctor just to lead us to this different group and am thankful that we can see his hand working even during this scary time. He has and continues to be our strength.

Ironically, I feel great physically. Other than lots of stress! But emotionally (and spiritually?) I’m exhausted. Last night was one big pity party with lots of crying and, “What the hell, God?” I even refused to pray over dinner. So basically Anderson ate with 2 two-year-olds. šŸ™‚ But God is big enough to handle me acting like a spoiled brat. And this morning I woke up to the real toddler in the house singing at the top of his lungs:

“Bless the Lord, oh my soul
Oh, my soul
Worship his holy name
Sing like never before
Oh, my soul
I’ll worship your holy name.”

I’m so thankful that his mercies are new each morning, and he is always faithful. Even when I doubt him and refuse to thank him for my chicken teriyaki.

Kingston and I went and had donuts for lunch today. The whole time he kept yelling, “I love donuts!” So it might be the sugar high, but we feel better now.

ADDED: Not even 5 minutes after I posted this I got a call from THE hospital saying they can see me THIS Monday. God is so good!