overwhelmed

…with grief. The only way to describe how I feel right now.

Thursday night Anderson and I were cooking dinner anticipating the arrival of my parents and Grandma. Plans changed. My dad called and told us to get to the hospital. Grandma had an accident, and we needed to come. I asked questions, but he wouldn’t tell me anything. I knew it was bad. He didn’t want to tell me on the phone. My family all got there and waited. The doctor told us what we were dreading. This was it. As friends began arriving at the hospital I felt like I was in a dream and just wanted to wake up. Friday morning I woke up and realized the dream was reality. That’s when it hit. She wasn’t here. My Grandma, my buddy, my role model, my college roommate was gone.

I never thought this day would actually come. She was the liveliest lady I’d ever known and I often forgot just how old she was. But she was ready. She’d longed for this day for 8 long years (ever since my Grandpa died). What a happy day it must have been for him!

One of our family-friends said to me, “Just think about it Lyndsay-She got all dressed up and ready to have dinner with you Thursday night. Instead she got to have dinner with her honey!”

My grief is selfish. I know she’s happy! But I wasn’t quite ready (probably never would’ve been). I’m so grateful for the life she lived-the example she was for me and countless others. I can’t talk about her much right now…it’s just too raw. But I did want to share something someone else wrote. I just went to FBC Jax’s website and read a beautiful press release from Dr. Mac. It is a fitting tribute to this amazing lady: http://www.fbcjax.com/Press%20Release%20for%20web.pdf

Thank you so much for your phone calls, messages, visits, cards, flowers and words of encouragement. Please keep our family in your prayers.

We do not mourn as those who have no hope.